Brock Lesnar Just Killing It… And by “It” I Mean Rodents

Serious with this dude? You are a fighter. You are not a bullet promoting hunter. Well, I stand corrected. You are now both.

Now you are a cute little animal killer. It’s not like these suckers are in your yard wrecking shop. It’s not like you’re gonna take these little prairie dogs home…throw them on the BBQ…turn on your GrillStar App… and have yourself a feast, right? You little animal murderer. I’d pay a month’s salary to watch these little effers dance like this after he missed a shot.


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Roger Goodell Hates Terrelle Pryor

The NFL suspended Terrelle Pryor for the first 5 games of the NFL season. It’s not like he would’ve played anyway, but that’s not the point. The point is this… what the hell does the NFL have to do with the NCAA? Here’s a quote for you:

From the NFL’s memo to teams:

… Pryor made decisions that undermine the integrity of the eligibility rules for the NFL Draft. Those actions included failing to cooperate with the NCAA and hiring an agent in violation of NCAA rules, which resulted in Ohio State declaring him ineligible to continue playing college football. Pryor then applied to enter the NFL after the regular draft. Pryor had accepted at the end of the 2010 college football season a suspension for the first five games of the 2011 season for violating NCAA rules. Pryor will be ineligible to practice prior to or play in the first five games of the NFL regular season after he signs.

If you want to read more about it, go here. If you want to know how I feel about it… I’ll tell you. Sure, Terrelle Pryor is a dumbass for doing the things he did at Ohio State. Granted, after the U of Miami allegations, he looks like a friggin’ angel. All that’s beside the point. Ponder this…what if you got busted in college on campus breaking the rules… boozing, curfew, illegal free tats, whatever. Then, imagine if the job that you got after college found out about it. No big deal, right? They hired you…everybody’s moved on. Now imagine they docked your pay, or put you on suspension, or fired you, because of what you did in college. You pissed off yet? Terrelle Pryor is. You should be too.


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The San Diego Union-Tribune is Peddling Softcore-Porn

See that? Hot, right? Right. Here’s the problem though. Those are the images you see when you go to the website of our local newspaper, The San Diego Union-Tribune (SD U-T). All San Diegans know the site,, because that’s where we go to get the news. Print is dying, sad but true. Well, head to the Sports section, and scroll down a bit. That’s what you get. (the exact images seem to changed daily.) Made to look like one of SD U-T’s own stories, they are advertisement links to Bleacher Report (b/r). I don’t even have time to get into what a worthless website Bleacher Report is. Although, here are some nice parody images from SportsPickle that sum up my feelings on their site nicely.

So, back to the SD U/T. First, as a guy with a pulse, I love women. The less they are wearing, the better they look. That’s how all guys are. I get that. Second, I don’t mind the SD U-T as a newspaper, I think they usually do a decent job. Furthermore, I’m not trying to be some overly-sensitive, whistle-blowing, yuppy prude. However, this is ridiculous. It’s damn near impossible to surf the internet these days without seeing half naked chicks. I’m not here to address the issue of what you as an individual like to look at…if you want surf porn on the internet, that’s your prerogative. I am here to address the issue of what you should NOT be subjected to looking at if you don’t want to. If there’s one website you should be able to visit without fears of seeing advertisements and links to softcore porn…it’s your local newspaper, right? How can parents justify sending their elementary school kids online to read the newspaper when you’re placing them in the line of fire of softcore porn. And listen, don’t gimme any of that “oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad… they see the same at the beach… stop being so dramatic, it’s not softcore… blah blah blah“. Shut it. It is too that bad. Yes, I’m on a soapbox, so what. You click on those links, and your boss walks by… you can get fired for that at a lot of companies.

Maybe I’m overreacting, I’m sure most will think that I am, but it just seems crazy to me that you can’t go to your local newspaper website for news and not get that. I certainly wouldn’t let my kids come to LobShots while surfing the web, because, although we try to keep it pretty clean, it’s an adult website with adult humor. It’s not for kids. Newspapers however, should be for everybody. I think it’s time for The San Diego Union-Tribune to get out of bed with Bleacher Report, and start acting like they’ve been there before. Stepping off my soapbox now.


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No Way Shawne Merriman is Still on Steroids, Right?

(AP Photo/David Duprey)

Buffalo Sports Daily – According to a reliable source close to the situation, Buffalo Bills linebacker Shawne Merriman was caught carrying steroids near the United States border late Thursday night, July 28 on the eve of Bills’ training camp.

According to the source, while trying to cross Canada back into the United States, Merriman was detained  by United States Customs shortly after 2:00am.  There, the source tells me steroids were found in his possession. He was not arrested and booked because from what I’m told, simply being in the possession of the substance is not technically illegal.

I’m certainly no legal analyst or NFL league rules expert, and I don’t know what, if any ramifications simply being caught in possession of a steroid substance will carry. I can’t and won’t speculate if Merriman has actually taken steroids anytime recently, but my source says he was caught with them in his possession.

I have to reiterate that doesn’t mean Merriman has taken steroids recently or done anything illegal.

Stay tuned for more details as they become available.  Knowing the consequence of being wrong, I wouldn’t post if not fully confident in the accuracy of this report.

For the record, I’ve sat on this story for close to three weeks—and numerous mainstream media members I’ve confided in can attest to that.

I wish I could say I was shocked. I’m really not. Maybe a little. Shocked at how dumb Merriman is IF this is true. If it’s not… sucks for Lights Out. Sucks because now his name has been dragged through the mud for doing nothing wrong. Doubt that though. 2AM? The Border? Shady, much?

I mean, that doesn’t look like a dude on roids, right? Chalk one up to A.J. Smith for letting him go. Go Bolts.


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Insane Video: China Goes all WWF on Georgetown’s Basketball Team

China Daily/Reuters

You freaking kidding me with China right now? The details haven’t all surfaced yet on this international “friendly” that went down on Georgetown’s visit to China. But this video footage shows China’s team and the crowd beating the crap out of the Georgetown Hoyas basketball team.

See that? Chairs? Seriously? 9 year old gymnasts wining gold medals and WWF wannabes playing hoops. Nice work, China. I was waiting for Odd Job or Random Task to jump out of the crowd. Hell, they were throwing chairs, I just figured top hats and shoes would be the natural progression.


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Former “Price is Right” Model to Race NASCAR. Yes!

Yahoo! Sports – Canadian driver Maryeve Dufault will make her NASCAR debut on Saturday in the Nationwide Series Napa Auto Parts 200 at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve.

Dufault, who started racing in the ARCA Series this year, was a model on the Price is Right and according to IMDB, was a player for the New York Euphoria in the 2005 Lingerie Bowl.

Dufualt has said that she used the money she earned from modeling to pay for tires and equipment so that she could go race.

Dufault, 29, has made 12 starts in ARCA in 2011 with one top 10, a 10th place finish at Chicagoland Speedway. She’ll be driving the No. 81 for MacDonald Motorsports and is one of four Canadian drivers entered in Saturday’s race in the series that is most commonly referred to as the AAA to the Sprint Cup’s Major League.

She will also become the first Canadian woman in NASCAR when the green flag drops on Saturday. Jacques Villenueve (the son of Gilles Villeneuve), Alex Tagliani and Patrick Carpentier are the other three Canadians entered in the event. It will be Carpentier’s final race before he retires.

Plus, it will be Dufault’s chance to race against Danica Patrick for the first time. Patrick, who is running a partial Nationwide Series schedule this season before her anticipated move to the series full-time in 2012, is running this weekend’s event in Montreal as the Izod IndyCar Series is off.

And while it may appear that Dufault is just profiting on her good looks to break into NASCAR, she has more credentials than other female drivers who have raced in the Nationwide Series this year. Will she be a contender for the win on Saturday? No. But she’s not being set up for embarrassment either.

Maryeve? Mary Eve? Folks couldn’t decide on one first name, so they just meshed ’em right together. Wait, Bob Barker ‘Price is Right’ or Drew Carey ‘Price is Right’? Must be Drew Carey, right? It’s an important question. Important like…Jack Nicholson now, or 1974? I don’t watch NASCAR, but if this chick, Maryeve Dufault, and Danica Patrick are the start of a new trend of smoking hot women in NASCAR, the chances of me watching just went way up. I hope this chick wins the Piston Cup.

Meg Ryan,


[lobbed by Jonesy]

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The Situation with Abercrombie and Fitch

WSJ – With their quick rise to fame, the cast of MTV reality show “Jersey Shore” has cashed in on a number of endorsement deals, including weight loss supplements, alcohol and bronzer. But here’s a first. Teen apparel retailer Abercrombie & Fitch Co. is offering to pay Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino not to wear its merchandise. The New Albany, Ohio company released a statement Tuesday evening titled “A Win-Win Situation,” in which it stated a “deep concern” over the association between Mr. Sorrentino and the brand. A&F offered up a “substantial payment” to Mr. Sorrentino “to wear an alternate brand.” “We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans,” the statement read. The company also extended the pay-to-not-play offer to the other Jersey Shore reality stars and said it was “urgently waiting a response.” Last year, Mr. Sorrentino gave an interview to New York magazine where he said, “Abercrombie & Fitch, their most popular shirt, they told me, is ‘Fitchuation.’ I mean, where did they get that from? Obviously from myself.” A&F confirmed that it sold that shirt as part of its “humor graphic tee assortment.”

Mike Sorrentino is an awful person. So awful that people are now paying him to not be associated with them. Clearly, Abercrombie is run by a bunch of idiots. This story is blowing up twitter and the interwebs right now. Nobody can utter the word Abercombie without thinking of Jersey Shore and The Situation. CNBC just ran the story. Good call, Abercrombie. Guess what? I’m connected. I’m in the loop. My wife gets People Magazine. I run a real awesome blog… and I had no clue that this idiot wore your clothes. I’d have bet the farm he only owned Affliction and Ed Hardy tees. Now? My assumption is that when he’s wearing clothing… they are A&F head to toe.

Wait, is that what’s going on here? Are you mind effing all of us, Abercrombie? Is this your ploy? You WANT to be associated with the Jersey Shore, don’t you? It’s like the most popular show on TV, right? Little Situation wannabes are gonna be coming out of the woodwork, storming a mall near you buying up all your A&F clothes. You sneaky bastards. Tell ya what… as my boy LT pointed out, if you really wanted to disassociate yourself with somebody… you might want to pay Yahoo! Sports to take this picture down as the top image on the story of the summer. Because if there’s anybody slimier out there than The Situation, it’s Uncle Nev.

The U of Miami Scandal: Nevin Shapiro and a second source said this photo of the booster and Kellen Winslow Jr. was taken in Shapiro’s VIP section of Opium Garden nightclub in 2003.

Just a thought, ya jackwagons.


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