What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I find this Artichoke mascot so amazing. For the second time today, UniWatch has brought something to my attention, and for the third time this week, I find myself talking about friggin’ mascots. Why? No clue. Scottsdale Community College. The Fighting Artichokes. Mascot nickname? Artie. YES! All I know is that if I have a son and he got rejected from every Division I school, I’d sit him down and say… “Good news and bad news… Bad news, you got rejected from everywhere… Good news, you’re practically down the street from smoking hot ASU girls and you’re an ARTICHOKE!” High fives all around.
(Crap, this goes against all good judgment that I have, but I just can’t leave out this stupid joke my dad used to tell when I was a kid. This guy named Artie goes grocery shopping at Vons, he’s in awful mood, and he’s had horrible experiences in the past with this store. Gets his groceries, stands in the checkout line, pays cash, and when he looks at the change they gave him… they shorted him a buck. He flips out. Screaming, yelling, and attacks the checker saying she ripped him off and he starts strangling her. The bag boy and the manager try to help and he starts strangling them too. Eventually the cops show up and arrest him. Headline in the paper the next day… “Artie Chokes 3 for a $1 at Vons”)
excuse me while I go kick my own ass…